Faith

I came across another quote today that not only inspired me, but made me think a great deal about myself.  Lately, I’ve been feeling as though I’ve been making progress on my Journey back to Christ.  I feel like I’m getting better.   And then I read this.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

It seems to me that I’ve gotten confused about what faith actually means.  I don’t’ know why, but I’ve been acting as though faith means a belief in God.  And this thought made me think of a bible verse that made me chuckle a little bit the first time I heard it. 

James 2:19 “You believe that there is one God.  Good!  Even the demons believe that – and shudder.”

Ok, so that put me in my place real quick.  The occupants of hell have more faith than I do.   Then I started to think even more.  Of course they have more faith about God.  They’re demons.  So faith can’t just be belief. 

Then I remembered that the bible actually defines faith and shows examples of faith.  I couldn’t remember where it was (sorry mom and dad), so I googled it. 

Hebrews 11:1-6

“1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 4 By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead. 5 By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. 6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

The first verse struck me like I’d never heard it before.  Certain of what we do not see (God) AND sure of what we hope for.  So, that was a little confusing so I looked more at the examples that followed.  All of them are people that had so much faith that they were commended by God, usually after the person had done something to show their faith.  All of the examples made it seem like faith is an action.  We have to live by faith.  Not by sight.  We have to trust that God is here for us.  That reminds me of the story of Jesus walking on water.

To sum it up, Jesus walks on water and one of the disciples asks to come down from the boat.  He also walks on water a little bit and then looks around.  He sees the waves and the wind and starts to get scared and he begins to sink.  He calls out for help and Jesus catches him and says “you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

This strikes me a little bit weird as well.  Growing up, we read this story and it was like “yeah, dude, what are you thinking?  Don’t doubt like that.”  But now, as an adult, it seems different.  He’s walking on a lake that may be unstable because of the weather and he gets scared.  Of course he got scared.  I would too. 

So, now I’m confused, right?  What I’ve learned so far is that I should have faith no matter what is going on around me.  Then I start thinking “man, am I doing something wrong?  Why can’t I have faith?” 

But then I started to think and it’s not like that.  That disciple that got down from the boat was Peter.  One of the most influential (in my opinion, as well as Paul) disciples there was and, in Catholicism, thought to be the very first Pope.  PETER had doubts.  And Jesus still accepted him and trusted him.  And he went on to do amazing things.  I’m not failing for doubting.  I just need him to catch me from time to time.

I’m not walking on unsettled waters or walking through the valley of death, but I’m going through things that I have to pray about.  I admit that it’s very hard for me to have that kind of faith.  I suppose it’s something I need to work on.